Would you like a sticker with that?

So there seems to be a bit of discrepancy with the universe. I may not have been the first one to notice this but I feel the need to point it out anyway.

So here goes. When we are kids and we do something good, brave or out of the ordinary we get rewarded. Maybe with a sticker from the dentist, maybe a lollypop from the doctors and very occasionally a lollypop from a dentist looking for return business.

On Wednesday last week my four year was given a lolly snake from a saleslady at a book shop because he said please and was polite. And yes while this is a major miracle to be heralded with great fanfare and possibly a parade I was polite too and I got nothing.

On Thursday I had a needle inserted into my neck and was told to stay very still and not breathe by a very grumpy man and was very brave and do you know what I got? A $375 bill. Yep! No sticker, no lollypop, nothing!

All of this kind of got me thinking when you are under the age of 6 (ish) you get given things for being good, nice or kind to others but as adults if you want to get a prize you need to be nominated for a reward and be voted for by your peers etc.

Why do we feel the need to reward and praise every little thing that kids do but not often enough do we look a person in the eye and say thanks?

This week I am going to look people in the eye and say “Thank you”. I am going to show my gratitude and appreciation to people who make me feel special.

I do also have quite a good supply of stickers but I think I’ll keep them for the kids.

 


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Things that make my heart melt… like ice cream.

So if you could imagine that your heart is made of ice cream and is being served up in a good quality waffle cone (not all waffle cones are equal people) what would make it melt?

Now let’s not get bogged down in the specifics of a heart ice cream and what flavour it would be okay. That would be weird. Don’t be weird right now.

I have lots of things that make my heart melt and none of them have anything to do with kittens being cute in a box. I don’t really like cats or animals. I’m just being honest. I wasn’t raised around animals. I like trees. Does that help? Nope? Okay.

Something my 4 year old said the other day made my heart melt. We were talking about monsters and I reminded him that monsters aren’t real. To which he replied “but if they were Fred from Scooby Doo would build a trap and catch them”.

Can’t really argue with logic like that. He fought fiction with fiction. He took an imaginary problem and fixed it with an imaginary character.

Sometimes it’s the simplicity of the thought that makes so much more sense than anything I could come up with that gets me.

Sometimes it’s the faith he puts in me and my eternal fountain of knowledge that floors me and sometimes it’s the way he fixes things that melts my heart.

How many different people am I?

Well the good news is that the nominations for the worst worded title are in and I’m the favourite but let me tell you what I’m really trying to say.

I’m talking about who I am when I am around different people.

Take friend A for example who I went out with recently and had a great time eating BBQ and meeting new people and getting lost and feeling totally free and out of my comfort zone.

Then there is friend B whom I adore but we tend to do the same thing and have our own little routine and it’s lovely because I don’t have to get dressed up or think too hard about shoes but it’s not new. 

I just had a thought that maybe friend A thinks that going out with me is like hanging with friend B. No comfort zone issues for her. Oh goodness me.

I love my different friends and how I get to be around them but I sometimes question which one is the real me? Is there a real me?

Surely the real me is the me I am with my partner at home right? Well maybe? Maybe I’m still being the me I was when we first met? I wasn’t a wife or a mother then. I had a different job. I was different. I am different now. 

They say the secret to a long relationship isn’t to stay in love with the same person but to keep falling in love with them.

But back to me. Okay well that hasn’t changed. It’s still all about me. How many versions of me are there? Which one do I like the best? Or is it having different friendship groups that allows us to explore who we are without upsetting the apple cart of self? (Yes I did just say that).

I guess that as you get older you hopefully start to like spending time on your own and learning who you are.

Anyway what I’m really wondering is if there is a real me? And how do I know her when I see her? Or am I myself when I’m at my happiest?

Maybe? I used to be a lot louder and outgoing (sometimes just plain silly) and people who haven’t seen me for a  while might still expect that from me. I can do that. I can be loud and in your face and I can have fun being that way but it’s tiring.

So anyway I’m sorry if I’ve changed and you don’t like it. I’m sorry if you haven’t changed and I don’t like you anymore. 

And anyway maybe that’s what makes good friends so incredible.
The ability to like someone enough to evolve with them and love them for who they are… whoever that might be!

Stop in the name of… Greg?

Stop signs?

Now let me start by assuming that when you see a STOP sign while driving that you don’t always come to a complete stop. Nothing wrong with that. Quiet street, clearly no oncoming traffic, slow down and keep going.

Having said that I did fail my driving test the first time for not stopping at a stop sign so maybe my lack of a complete stop is more an act of defiance against the man… Damn the man!

But I digress… Stop signs in general got me thinking about other times in our lives when we need stop signs. When we were kids adults would often tell us to stop playing, stop eating, stop sitting on your sisters head etc but once we grow up we have to learn to self regulate.

I mean I love the freedom of being able to have cake for breakfast and staying up late watching reruns of bad tv shows but sometimes it would be nice for someone to just make my decisions for me. But as you may or may not have noticed there seem to be more and more people who don’t know when to stop.

Too much of a good thing or just a lack of will power?

I’m not quite sure what I’m trying to say here, I mean obviously I don’t want someone telling me not to eat cake for breakfast but sometimes maybe we do need a stop sign in our lives.

This is going nowhere…
I should stop!