Sometimes when I feel sad I wonder if I really do feel sad or if I just think that I feel sad.
That made no sense so stick with me here…
I’ve been crying a lot. Maybe it’s a chick thing. Maybe it’s an over thinking thing. Maybe I’m not happy.
But I think I also feel guilty for thinking that I’m not happy and maybe that’s not the same as being sad.
Right so it’s probably time to just shut down my brain for a bit. To cruise on auto pilot. To look for the good.
But I can’t at the moment.
Don’t know what it is. Maybe I’m a little bit threatened by the Year of the Snake. No. Not really. Of course not. I’m not that dumb.
So I’m kind of struggling to be my usual effervescent self. I can’t even find the motivation to fake it.
I saw a beautiful new born baby today and listened to his delightful gurgles and all I wanted to do was crawl back into bed and barricade the door.
Or barricade the door and then crawl into bed as that would make more sense.
(I have read a few people writing similar things at the moment. Maybe it’s just the post holiday blues.)
So anyway… I just needed to get that off my chest so that I don’t have the hour of power sobbing again tonight. (2am you are not my friend).
Sometimes you don’t know who to tell. Who really cares. We’re all busy. I’m busy. But now I need to sleep.