Shuffle me crazy…

Dear iPod mini,

You hold 367 of my favourite songs yet when I shuffle you I get the feeling that you don’t know me at all.

You don’t get me.

You don’t understand me or even seem to like me.

Why is that?

Why do you select tunes that are guaranteed to annoy me? What did I ever do to you? Except lock you in the zipper part of my handbag and ignore you for a couple of years.

Why would you play 3 U2 songs in a row when I’ve already skipped the first 2? Can’t you take a hint?

It’s because of the Enya isn’t it? I can understand how that would make you feel. Like maybe you’re less of an iPod.

I apologise. I’ll buy you a new case. But please… Just one shuffle without Sunday Bloody Sunday coming on in the first few songs isn’t too much to ask is it?

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Green, green grass of home…

So… I haven’t pointed out lots of really obvious things for a while.

Probably time to change that because I just checked and I’m pretty sure that the grass is greener over there.

I’m not the most observant person but when I look around me at the moment I have noticed that I have friends trying to lose weight and friends trying to gain weight.

I see people who want to be married and people who wish that they weren’t.

People with kids who want time away from them and people without kids who are desperate to have a child in their lives.

The grass is greener over there.

Real green. Possibly too green.

Could be AstroTurf?

Either that or they’re using tank water.

Take care. Be grateful. Paint your grass if needed.

I don’t have an Uncle Jake…

“Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite
or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for Uncle Jake
or a pot to boil, or a Better Break
or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or Another Chance.
Everyone is just waiting.”

Dr. Seuss – Oh, the places you’ll go.

Dear Dr.Seuss,
How did you know so much? How could you foresee the lonely games, the slumps, the Bang-ups and Hang-ups? How did you in your lovely rhyming way understand and articulate how interesting life can be and how in the end it’s all okay.

You get me.

But seriously the Cat in the Hat is obviously not about me. But well done on that one too.

Good times people…

Good times. Bad times. How quickly they come and go.

One day you’re all this is a great coffee. I look hot in my new $8 dress. How good was that dinner I just made? You score the last Magnum ice cream from the freezer.

Then the next day you’re picking up your son from school for the first time while your 3 year old is in full blown tantrum mode and trying to bite you and you realize that your underwire has come out of your bra and is plainly visible to all the lovely parents who could have potentially been your friends but that you will now have to avoid for the next 7 years.

That’s how quickly the game can change people.

Be aware of the signs.

The weather.

Read your horoscope.

Live your potential because as I have clearly demonstrated the good times can end in less time than it would have taken to sew up that little hole in your bra.