Loner or just plain lonely…

I’m not really sure what the definition of a loner is. I’m not going to look it up either because that’s not the point.

I think a loner is someone who is alone either by choice or just because they seem to be lacking friends.

Sometimes I dream of being a loner. Sometimes I think I should join a nunnery and just stop speaking. Then I realise that perhaps I am not the most suitable candidate for becoming a nun. That the things I like to do are not featured in too many stained glass windows.

But then there are times when I am ridiculously lonely. Where I send a message to ten friends and none of them reply and I feel all alone and invisible and unloved.

Until they check their phones and gradually reply and make me smile and feel loved and blessed.

I know that I am loved and blessed and have some truly amazing friends but I think that maybe we have days when it’s good just to be alone.

To prioritise.

To see who the real friends are. To let my friends chase me instead of me badgering them all the time.

But maybe for now I might just read my book, enjoy my cup of herbal tea and listen to the thoughts in my head.

And God knows that there are enough of them to keep me company until I become the flavour of the month again.

International ME Day.

I am not a man.

And therefore there is a very good chance that I’m a woman.

You won’t hear me roar.

I can’t be bothered and I really don’t feel the need to make loud noises just to impress you and anyway I just got the 3 year old in the next room to sleep at 10pm after he fell asleep for 2 hours at 4pm today.

I don’t need to prove anything to you. You don’t need to prove anything to me.

I am not beautiful. I am not ugly. I am me and I have to like that more than you do.

It is International Women’s Day and like any other day I am a woman who had a hell of a lot of things on today but I did manage to read quietly on my own for half an hour and I didn’t feel like cooking so we had hot cross buns for dinner.

I am not just a wife, a mum, a daughter.

I am just me… and I happen to be a woman.

And to all the other women and non-women out there I hope you had a great day and an even better weekend.