Loner or just plain lonely…

I’m not really sure what the definition of a loner is. I’m not going to look it up either because that’s not the point.

I think a loner is someone who is alone either by choice or just because they seem to be lacking friends.

Sometimes I dream of being a loner. Sometimes I think I should join a nunnery and just stop speaking. Then I realise that perhaps I am not the most suitable candidate for becoming a nun. That the things I like to do are not featured in too many stained glass windows.

But then there are times when I am ridiculously lonely. Where I send a message to ten friends and none of them reply and I feel all alone and invisible and unloved.

Until they check their phones and gradually reply and make me smile and feel loved and blessed.

I know that I am loved and blessed and have some truly amazing friends but I think that maybe we have days when it’s good just to be alone.

To prioritise.

To see who the real friends are. To let my friends chase me instead of me badgering them all the time.

But maybe for now I might just read my book, enjoy my cup of herbal tea and listen to the thoughts in my head.

And God knows that there are enough of them to keep me company until I become the flavour of the month again.

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7 thoughts on “Loner or just plain lonely…

  1. Oooo that’s an awful feeling! I def experience that from time to time…send out a bunch of texts…wait and wait and then somewhere during the waiting I realise I just need to sit and breathe and feel whatever it is I’m feeling. And remind myself to just love myself…

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