I am them.

What have I done? Who have I become? Who am I?

WHO? WHAT? WHY?

All of these are these valid questions to ask yourself when you buy a leopard print top for the first time.

I tried it on. I thought it looked okay.

(I also thought if I ever need to go to a fancy dress party then I’ve got my outfit sorted.)

Now let me be perfectly clear.

I laugh at people who wear animal print clothing. I laugh behind their backs. I laugh to their faces. I laugh.

And now I am them.

I can honestly say that I have no idea how it happened. I was at work and my colleague told me to go and get a coffee but instead I bought a leopard print top with black sleeves.

I am them.

I like stripes. I like spots. I do not like animal prints.

I feel like this could be a real turning point in my life. I feel like this is the first chapter of my mid life crisis. I feel like a stranger to myself.

I am them.

It was on sale. It will not define me. I can and will rise above the self scorning and scoffing.

I will not buy matching pants.

Because what sort of person buys leopard print pants.

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