What have I done? Who have I become? Who am I?
WHO? WHAT? WHY?
All of these are these valid questions to ask yourself when you buy a leopard print top for the first time.
I tried it on. I thought it looked okay.
(I also thought if I ever need to go to a fancy dress party then I’ve got my outfit sorted.)
Now let me be perfectly clear.
I laugh at people who wear animal print clothing. I laugh behind their backs. I laugh to their faces. I laugh.
And now I am them.
I can honestly say that I have no idea how it happened. I was at work and my colleague told me to go and get a coffee but instead I bought a leopard print top with black sleeves.
I am them.
I like stripes. I like spots. I do not like animal prints.
I feel like this could be a real turning point in my life. I feel like this is the first chapter of my mid life crisis. I feel like a stranger to myself.
I am them.
It was on sale. It will not define me. I can and will rise above the self scorning and scoffing.
I will not buy matching pants.
Because what sort of person buys leopard print pants.