The sun is shining today.
It’s bright and warmish and up in the sky and doing all of the things that it usually does… just without clouds getting in its way and stealing its limelight for a change.
Approximately 5 weeks ago there was a glorious sun shiney day where I live. The sun came through my bedroom window on that sublime Sunday morning and made me want to scream.
I was angry at the sun. Nay, I was fuming at the sun and it’s sunniness.
(And let’s face it if you are going to be irrationally livid at something, one should always think big.)
I was so cross at the sun that I literally couldn’t get dressed that day.
Now a fairly obvious question to ask at this point would be why? What did the sun ever do to me to justify such an unloving and unkind hatred?
And thankfully my answer no longer makes sense to me.
But I was angry at the sun and the way it made everyone happy because I knew that it wasn’t going to last. I had seen the weather forecast and knew that cold, cloudy, rainy days were coming back again.
Why were so many people reveling in the sun and it’s ability to entice people outdoors? Why couldn’t they see that their joy was to be short lived? That the sun was flirting with us and wouldn’t be sticking around? Kind of like a one night stand… but obviously during the day.
Looking back now I can see that perhaps I wasn’t taking life one day at a time and that I wasn’t capable of living in the moment.
And then yesterday I needed to use up a roll of film in an old camera and it was the opposite.
There is a frivolousness in taking photos of things that you don’t need to take photos of just for fun.
I took photos of my sons laughing together, the cat staking away from me and my husband standing artistically (highly unlikely) in front of a fence.
Tomorrow I’m going to get those photos developed and keep them as evidence that I was happy in a moment… and happy being me.