My heart is stretching…

Sometimes you do a 4 year University degree and a bit of Post Graduate study, work in your chosen field for a few years and then you have a week that makes you realise that you are completely out of your depth.

I have had my heart broken this week. One of the boys in my class’ mother died on the weekend. He is 4. She was 43. She had an asthma attack on Wednesday and passed away of a heart attack on the weekend.

This is terribly sad and awful and I just want to hug this beautiful boy and make it all better.

But I can’t.

His dad is grieving and is obviously lost and broken and hasn’t told his son yet that his mother has passed away.

He came and spoke to me today and told me that he knows I’m busy and doesn’t want to bother me.

Several times today this little boy came and curled up on my lap and snuggled into me. When he said he was hungry we had snack. When he wanted to go out and play we did. But when he asked for his mum all I could do was hug him.

Another boy in the class today turned 4. He lives with his mum and grandma. His mum went out on Sunday for an hour and hadn’t made contact with her kids or their grandmother since then.

Grandma then came to pick him up early today as mum had reappeared in a drug induced state not suitable for parenting.

These kids need love. All kids do. And stability. And someone who keeps them busy and makes them happy.

At Uni they failed to mention that these kids get in your heart and you worry about them in the night.

My 4 year old son just came running up to me in his pjs and told me that he loves me all the way to the street and the mountain and the whole world. He was stalling as he didn’t want to go to bed. He can stall all he likes tonight.

I’ll be in my room with a cup of herbal tea counting my blessings.

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