I have another confession to make.
Tonight I used my extremely powerful sexy eyes for evil.
I was at my work Christmas party at an extremely loud restaurant where my colleagues and I had just enjoyed a yummy dinner.
I had the duck risotto. In case you were wondering.
Anyway we decided we wanted to order dessert so I said to the lady sitting next to me “watch as I use my
sexy eyes to attract the waiters attention”.
I then turned them up to 11.
Poor guy. Didn’t know what had hit him. He immediately came over, prompting much laughter and brought us the dessert menus.
Then he called me darling and by the time he was running across the room to hold the door open just for me and embraced me with a kiss my colleagues were in hysterics.
I must emphasise that this was a group of 7 ladies most of whom don’t get out much.
This poor strapping young man didn’t stand a chance against my sexy eyes.
Unfortunately though a little bit of sexy eye must have ricocheted off the waiter and got the bald guy with sunglasses on his head behind him because he wouldn’t stop staring and smiling at me either.
So either my blue paper hat from the Christmas bonbon makes me irresistible to men or I need to remember to tone down the sexy eyes in public.
But hey it’s nice to be noticed and fun to be fancied for a change.
So here’s a strange confession…
There is a local guy that I’ve seen around a few times and I really don’t like him.
The fact that he is in a wheel chair though makes me feel a little bit guilty about not liking him but this guy is so rude that it is hard not to dislike him regardless of his disability.
And the strange thing is the fact that he is so unlikable actually makes me like him.
He has attitude.
I’ve heard him be awfully rude to people unsure of reversing wheel chair etiquette at the doctors.
I’ve seen him run into people deliberately on the street.
And now whenever I see him in his wheel chair with his orange flag dutifully alerting to people of his presence I smile.
This guys “stop feeling sorry for me and get out of the effing way” attitude is pure class.
His determination not to be treated differently means that I shouldn’t even mention it.
But you get the feeling that disability or not he would still have been a cranky bastard.
And now for something completely different here are some random thoughts/poems/ideas that I’m choosing to share with you.
-Is there anything worse than someone that you think the world of who only thinks of you as a small South Pacific atoll that was left uninhabitable as a result of French nuclear testing?
-If pumpkins were people would Halloween would be banned because it’s racist?
-If you liked you as much as I liked you then you’d probably think this song is about you.
-Dance like nobody is watching…
But assume that you are being filmed and that you will NOT be an internet sensation.
-Truth can be stranger than fiction and is also located in a different part of the library.
*I’m halfway through my busiest week of the year. Thank you for indulging my brain purge. xx*
Today was a strange day.
I mean most days are strange but today I was given the task of writing thank you cards to my colleagues on behalf of the committee at work.
Then I had to write one to myself.
That was weird.
I started by complimenting myself on my new haircut.
Then I praised myself for my loyal service and promptness.
I then signed it and sealed the envelope which will be given to me with flowers and chocolates at the upcoming AGM.
(We do it so that the parents for next year think that we are appreciated by the parents from this year.)
(But really we’re not.)
But anyways I kind of got to thinking after writing myself the thank you card what else I should thank myself for.
My body would probably like to thank me for not being a smoker and for losing lots of weight a few years ago.
My mind would like to thank me for learning to ask for help when I need it now rather than stressing so much.
My ears would like to thank me for not listening to death metal at a high volume. Or Justin Bieber at any volume.
My body also would like to thank me for maintaining optimal levels of caffeination. At least I assume that’s what it means when I get headaches without regular coffee inputs.
I would also like to thank me for choosing wonderful friends who reach out to me when I go quiet on them.
So in conclusion I am thankful… for me.
So G’day. I’m back from my little holiday now.
Japan was a wonderful place to visit.
Heated toilet seats that play classical music while you pee, coffee in a can available from vending machines on every street and strange signs at the subway stations that I still don’t understand.
Something about a squirrels nuts hitting a fellow passenger.
But I think that thing that I enjoyed the most was being a tourist.
Back home I blend in. I look the same as others. I wear the same clothes and know my way around.
In Japan though I didn’t see any other 5 foot 10 pale skin ladies with DD boobs walking around.
I stood out. I was noticed. I was smiled at and even winked at once or twice.
As an obvious tourist I could get away with asking people if I could take photos of their kids.
I could stop suddenly in the middle of a peak hour train station and the polite Japanese people would just walk around me.
When I tried to speak Japanese people would laugh as though I was hilarious.
It was a lovely feeling to have people go out of their way to be nice to you and accommodate you.
It was wonderful to be smiled at so often.
But now I’m back home and part of the crowd again.
So I probably need to stop bowing to the shop assistants when I enter stores.
So hello or should I say Konnichiwa from Japan!
I am on holidays with my family and I’m having a pretty good time.
It’s strange though how the highlights of the trip are the wrong turns or the impromptu veerings off the beaten track.
I was walking with my two young boys at night when we stumbled upon a small fair in a park. The boys went on two rides and couldn’t stop smiling.
I had a coffee at Starbucks and a random man told me that I have a lovely smile. I told him that I was exhausted and he said that exhausted suited me. And I nearly burst into tears at his kindness.
We went looking for a cafe and ended up in a market selling second hand kimonos.
I ate pineapple off a stick.
I saw pandas.
Young children practiced their English on me in a palace dating back hundreds of years.
I bought spotty shoes.
The people here are amazing and beautiful and kind and smile and politely excuse the cheekiness of my children.
The holiday is nearly over. But there is probably just enough time for another unexpected adventure or two.
Sayonara for now. x