I’ve found myself crying a little bit lately.
Crying for people who’ve passed away.
Not always people I know.
Cricketers taken too soon.
What is too soon?
Fathers passing away after years of struggle and pain leaving behind 3 beautiful young grand children who will never remember their Poppy.
I feel guilty crying about people who aren’t mine to grieve over.
I mainly avoid funerals for this reason. I put myself in their families shoes and get bogged down in tears.
I don’t want to again be that person crying tears at a funeral for someone’s grandma that I’d never even met.
It’s an emotional release that I feel is inappropriate.
But where does the mourning stop and the compassion towards the loved ones left behind begin?
I spoke at my Granny’s funeral as I held her only great grand child in my arms with tears streaming down my face.
I spoke at my Grandpa’s funeral in between silent sobs.
But these were my people to grieve. They were mine to cry for.
So maybe I’m just a bit of an emotional person whose left the empathy valve open too long.
Maybe I cry at the wrong times.
And maybe sometimes I need to realise that I can’t fix everyone’s lives and I should stop thinking that I can… And just love them.