Better out than in…

So I’m out of the mental health unit now.

I’m back in the real world where I belong.

But without being facetious there are a lot of people out here who probably should be in the hospital.

I stayed in a 21 bed unit with a waiting list. There are people with real issues who are waiting for help.

There are people who are so good at hiding their problems, issues and illnesses that they will never even ask for help.

Everything is magnified in there.

People bend over backwards to be kind. I think it’s that do unto others as you would like done unto you.

But that is offset at meal times where everyone wishes they had ordered what someone has. Or they didn’t get their ice cream. Or their meal is too big/small/hot/cold/healthy/unhealthy etc.

But it’s safe in there too. You can say what you want and act how you want and it’s all covered by the face that you are a patient in a mental health ward.

So if you find yourself leading a dining room of people singing along to “Stand by me” or modeling hats so unique that the market may never be ready for them or partaking in a Karate Kid themed yoga class just go with it.

Once you remove the fear of being labeled as crazy and accept and embrace that you are among your people there’s quite a lot of laughter to be had.

I can understand why some are desperate to stay in and be nurtured and cared for and accepted.

It can be hard in the real world.

So here are my tips for the day…
– Don’t judge others or yourself.
– Don’t be afraid to smile at strangers.
– Own your crazy and share some of it with a like minded friend/stranger.
– Overshare sometimes.
– Spend a few minutes each day emptying your mind. Kind of like putting things in the bin on your computer. Then permanently delete that crap.
– Stay in touch with your friends even if you think they’re too busy for you.
– Be aware of your breathing (make sure you still are).
– And be grateful that a nurse didn’t open the door while you were getting dressed.

Peace and quiet…

I’m not sad, I’m tired.

I’m not alone.

I’m cared for and loved by many people with beautiful hearts and souls.

I have peace inside me.

I need sleep to stop my brain from thinking. Just for a bit. Just for a few days and then I need love.

And movies. And nights at mums. And walks around the gallery. And markets. And fudge and ice cream with the boys.

I need the energy to play without it being forced.

I need to stop caring about problems that aren’t my own and provide support where I can instead of as a priority over my sanity and rest.

I need to forgive the disappointments and not let them come out to play at night time. Reminding me that I’m not worthy of more. When often it’s a misunderstanding all in my head.

I’ve had so many people offer to visit. Maybe they want to escape their lives too.

But I don’t want to listen to more people’s problems and see them in pain and feeling so helpless when I don’t feel like that.

I’m tired. I need to get my appetite back and I need to enjoy my husbands support while he’s home rather than being away.

Well that’s just my opinion… about me.

P.S This post is coming to you live from hospital during Workshops and Journaling time.

*Now back to my book and the sun shining through they grey clouds. (Accurate description of weather, not a metaphor.)