Care much?

I can’t even begin to understand all the things I’m supposed to understand.

The world is too big.

There is too much happening.

So you kind of have to choose, don’t you?

People say that if you watch the news it’s too depressing. And it is. But not watching it is worse.

Okay it’s 2016 so when I say “watching the news” I mean reading it, streaming it, listening to it or liking it on social media.

I feel really bad that I am more likely to click on a story about chocolate than Syrian refugees.

One of these stories is easier to stomach than the other.

Literally.

I hate that we can choose to not know and not care because it’s not about us.

I despise the fact that the lives of some are more valued and news worthy than others based on where they live.

People are people wherever they are.

We have so much to give and so much to be grateful for but ignorance is not only bliss but it helps you sleep at night.

I would like to know more and be able to do more but I’m just me.

I’m doing a spectacular job at being me at the moment though so I’m proud of that.

I’m well. I’m happy. I’m contributing to my own little part of the world.

I don’t know how to fix most of the problems that I do know about let alone all the ones I don’t know about.

But I wish we could be kinder.

I wish the world leaders and possible future leaders gave us hope that things might change for the better.

No advice from me today.

Well maybe a little… choose to care if you can.

Same, same.

It’s Sunday afternoon here which means that my 4 day weekend is coming to an end.

Yep. Not getting a lot of sympathy for that am I?

I’m only working 3 days this year. Monday to Wednesday.

I have more time for me.

It’s awesome.

(But I still dread Monday.)

This weekend I stayed at a hotel and slept in a big bed with the softest sheets.

On Friday night I drank a hot chocolate with a double shot of espresso and felt violently ill during a fantastic play detailing the life of Etta James.

I did not vomit in my handbag as I feared so that’s a win for everyone right there.

I’ve had many naps which is a sure sign of a successful weekend.

I’ve finished one book and I’ve started another.

Summer has come back and the washing basket is empty.

It is with much sadness that I announce that I am at a stage in my life where an empty washing basket brings me much joy.

This is more like a super boring diary entry than a blog post that changes the lives of millions but I guess that’s me.

I have only a few friends that I interact with on a regular basis and I don’t think anything I’m doing will change the world anytime soon.

And that’s probably a good thing.

Who needs that sort of pressure.

This is me. Leading my ordinary life. A life revolving around eating too much chocolate and making the most of the good washing days.

Same, same and very rarely different but mine. x

Nearly there…

I had a near death experience today.

Okay. That’s a slight (possibly massive) exaggeration.

When I opened a cupboard in the laundry a hack saw thingy fell on my arm.

No arteries were severed.

A rather small bruise is the evidence that anything actually happened.

But what if the saw didn’t have the cover on?

What if it had landed on my neck and severed an artery?

I sometimes (often) choose the slightly dramatic train of thought.

I googled my sore hip recently and convinced myself that my left leg is shorter than my right and that was causing the pain.

It’s not. I’m just a hypercondriac sometimes.

So back to my near death experience.

It got me to thinking that we worry more about near death than we should.

Perhaps we should be more worried about near life experiences.

Spending Thursdays in bed sleeping is a near life experience.

Keeping quiet about how you’re feeling when you’re down because it’s easier to not bother anyone is a near life experience.

Watching others do things you want to do.

Others trying new things and chasing new dreams.

They’re near life experiences.

What are your near life experiences?

Do they involve hack saws falling from the sky or are they more personal than that.

They should be easy I reckon.

Things you want to do but don’t because you’re too busy, tired, scared, lonely etc.

A movie on your own because you want to escape?

A second coffee because you want to?

Yes when you should say no?

It all keeps going and we keep going with it.

I’m going to try and have more near life experiences and do a little less hiding.

x

Learning with a grimace…

Things I learnt today…

– Sometimes if you have a tantrum at work and threaten to quit you get more attention.

– Sometimes parents say dumb things to teachers. For example: “If my daughter doesn’t behave tell her that you’re not her friend. She’s very sensitive so if you upset her she’ll do what you say”.

– Sometimes teachers may lose their cool slightly with parents.
Parent: “I’m sorry”.
Teacher: “I don’t think you are. You just keep saying it.”

– Sometimes when a teacher misses out on snack she becomes more grumpier.

– Sometimes when your 6 old tells you he hates you he’s “just joking”.

– Sometimes you might feel quite angry at everyone on the planet because of the actions of a few. This is neither logical or fair to the people who aren’t idiots.

– Sometimes when you go to reverse there are no cars coming and then one speeds up and toots you for reversing into what only seconds earlier was an empty street.

– Sometimes when you really want to watch the latest episode of Call the Midwife but you can’t remember the pay tv password you might decide to call it a day and go to sleep.

Let’s hope that tomorrow is better and that I don’t have to learn quite so much.

xx

Like?

Are you good enough?

For yourself?

Or do you judge yourself too harshly?

It’s so much easier to be kind to others than to ourselves.

Self loathing can take a lot of energy can’t it?

We get so good at comparing ourselves to others that we forget to be proud of who we are.

Most of us do good things.

Most of us try to be kind.

Most of us are probably better than we think we are.

And sometimes we make mistakes and that’s okay too.

We’re too hard on us. We are all doing our best most of the time. We don’t think it’s good enough though.

I have so many friends that I want to help. People who need money. People who need love. People who just need to know how wonderful they are.

I wish I could help more.

I wish that I could like me more.

So in the mean time I’m going to like you and you’re going to like me and we’ll practice liking ourselves too.

xxoo