Today I went to the trouble of googling “nunnery and single origin”.
After quickly browsing the suggestions from her Royal Googleness I can confirm that there doesn’t seem to be a convent anywhere that I can join while still being guaranteed good coffee.
Same goes for Netflix.
I have found myself yearning for solitude. Deeply desiring some serious alone time.
Of course I love my family… but I would like the opportunity to love them from a distance.
My husbands work travel starts up again next week with interstate travel booked for the next 4 weeks at least.
Today I wanted to hide in bed and read my book and listen quietly to my thoughts. Instead I drove 2 hours to my nieces 5th birthday party.
Not quite what I had in mind.
I like the idea of joining a nunnery of running away from my many blessings and being in a quiet place.
But I don’t think it works like that.
It’s all the little things that unravel me.
It’s the sports day on Tuesday. The importance of emailing a scanned document that could only be collected during school hours ASAP so that my eldest can attend a maths day at another school on Wednesday.
It’s never knowing what to have for dinner.
One day a couple of weeks ago my son ran in front of a car in the beautiful city of Mont Marte. (Probably not how you spell it.) I was in a bit of shock afterwards and the headache I’d been nursing previously went up to 11.
My husband asked me what I wanted to do. I looked at him and said “Please look after me”.
My shock at the near miss and the emotions that came with it just drained me.
I get so sick of being the one making all the little decisions that make up the day. The thoughts that wake me up at night but keep my family fed and in clean clothes that fit.
I am not joining the nunnery today but I would really like a night to myself.
Preferably catered by someone else.