Short Mach to go…

This morning I stubbed my toe while carrying my coffee.

It spilt everywhere including on a tv remote control which later was pronounced dead.

As I saw the coffee flying in slow motion I became even more convinced that my first shot of coffee for the day should be injected intravenously before I get up.

Possibly into my eyeballs just to be safe. (Having said that I’m not sure it is safe to inject things into your eyeballs.)

My room now smells like the undrunk coffee that only an hour ago was dripping down the wall. It’s taunting me.

This is me on my holidays.

My holidays that don’t actually have an end date because I have no job to return to.

There will many more coffees consumed. There will be reading and napping and possibly even showering if required.

This is the life.

Hope yours is good too.

xx

Christmas musings…

And now for my Annual Christmas Message.

Well it would be weird if it was more than annual wouldn’t it.

And now for my Quarterly Christmas Message. Nah. Not the same.

Now do you want the good news or the bad news first?

Well today I made vegan Christmas ice cream made with bananas and dates instead of cream.

That’s actually the good news and the bad news.

That’s all my news.

Tomorrow my boys will wake (hopefully after 6) and look to see what Santa has brought.

Wasn’t sure that we’d still be believing this year.

But as Santa says it’s better to be a believer than a belieber.

So here I am on Christmas Eve with the air conditioner on and contemplating a nudie midnight swim.

I love Christmas but I hate the inequality of it.

How big and flashy it is.

How when you’re hosting a Christmas Carols on TV you need to change dresses 3 times.

Well not me personally but you know what I mean.

We have so much and we’re so blessed and I desperately don’t want my kids to grow up taking that for granted.

So many things.

But here is my grown up Christmas wish…

I would like more empathy and compassion and kindness on earth.

Random acts of niceness just because.

Quiet chats with strangers about what colour ham is best to buy and whether you should get the loin or the end bit that’s all fatty.

Simple conversations with people you don’t know about their reindeer earrings and if they’re heavy and if they get stuck on things. (She reassured me that they didn’t.)

And maybe just a little bit of realising that even though the grass may be greener over there our own grass only looks dodgy because it’s been played on so much by people that we love.

I know people go on and on and on about gratitude and honestly I’d be grateful if they just shut up sometimes but being grateful is free and makes you feel good and helps you find the good.

So this Christmas be grateful for me.

Or something else. Yeah probably something else.

Wishing you and yours a very grateful Christmas.

xxoo

Not forlorned…

Come at me world.

Bring it on.

I’m ready for you.

No really, please come at me and explain how 3D printers work because I cannot comprehend it.

But seriously it’s all very real right now isn’t it?

This thing we call life.

I’ve been watching the Gilmore Girls specials and so now I can’t brain properly but I’m saying all of this super fast in my head.

Last week I went interstate for the day.

It was too much.

I am not that person. Except for when I am.

It was too much to fly 2 hours north and then drive one hour south just to watch one hour of a radio program and then eat ice cream on the beach.

It is too opulent.

I felt like a rich brat but on points.

I don’t quite know how to live and walk the line where I can have these crazy days and do too much while others have nothing.

You know how when you were younger you talked things up. This cost $100 it was so expensive.

Now it’s embarrassing. This old thing? I bought it at the Op Shop, ON SALE!

I proclaim to not want things and then I have crazy days and moments and privileges that others don’t.

I am not a conundrum.

I am just getting ready for my midlife crisis.

No, not really but I do need to learn to say no.

I may have already agreed to become an au-pair and a teacher of phonics to 10 year olds next year.

This is who I am.

My tastebuds have changed again. Like the seasons.

I’ve gone off chocolate.

I repeat I’ve gone off chocolate.

Last night I made sugar free banana muffins.

I don’t know who I am anymore.

And that’s okay too.

xx

P.S

“Being forlorned is not forearmed.”

(That obviously makes no sense but I made it up and now I think it’s a thing.)

P.P.S I think I’m hilarious but deep. Just in case you were wondering.

Choosing my own adventure…

I am a preschool teacher.

Well I am for the next few weeks anyway.

And yesterday in the midst of sooooo much stuff that’s “not in my job description” I practiced mindfulness while laminating.

You can’t rush a laminator.

Actually that could be a slogan on a mug for teachers.

So instead of rushing around like the crazy person that I am I stepped into the work kitchen and quietly laminated.

Is there anything more soothing than a task that you can’t rush?

Kind of like waiting for the toast to pop up or the kettle to boil.

A moment in your day to just wait for the machine that your using to do its job.

Last week I was on an interview panel for teachers that will be replacing me.

On that Thursday night I was wondering if I’d made the right choice in resigning.

By 9:30am Monday morning I was reminded of my good choice.

I don’t know what I’m going to do next year but I’m going to make sure that there is some more time for me.

I would like to create something amazing but it seems like all the amazing things have already been created by people who are 23.

So instead of creating something deliberate maybe I just need to be more open to adventures.

Be more willing to say yes.

And no.

Spend more time outside appreciating my surroundings and listening to music and drinking lots of water.

Clearing my head.

Freeing my soul. (Whatever that means.)

I want next year to be the year when I don’t be who other people want me to be. No pressure to please or entertain.

Yesterday a friend asked if I was busy tomorrow and the answer was no. So tomorrow I’m off on an adventure that I haven’t planned. In the past this lack of control would have had me freaking out but I’m looking forward to whatever.

I mean whatever providing there’s good coffee.

I keep changing. I change my taste in foods, music and tv.

I am not who I used to be but in a good way I hope.

I think I might be growing up.