Hello! Remember me?
Sometimes I don’t.
Sometimes I look at who I am today and wonder what happened to the old me.
The old me used to love reality tv. I watched and voted for strangers on tv programs. I even went to an Australian Idol live filming once. Strangely enough it was the final 3 voting show and one of the contestants dropped out so it was the only episode ever where nobody actually sang.
I can’t stand reality tv now. Not because it’s junk but because I don’t want to care about strangers on tv anymore. I don’t want the crazy scripted stories and all the nastiness.
I used to be a chocoholic. Until one day 14 months ago after eating a delicious chocolate brownie the night before I woke up and discovered I’d lost the taste for chocolate.
I got 20 boxes of chocolate from my students at the end of last year. I was so excited to get several large boxes of Roses chocolates in the hope that I might start liking chocolate again but it seems it’s not to be. My husband however is reaping the rewards of my taste change.
I used to be scared of some things that I’m not scared of anymore.
And I’m scared of things now that never frightened me in the past.
I guess the fact that things change gives us all hope that the bad things will change too.
Nothing that is too hard now will be too hard forever. At least that’s the hope isn’t it?
I have a couple of beautiful friends whose brains play awful tricks on them sometimes and make their days so sad and empty.
Mental illness is such a wicked thing to grapple with.
It doesn’t fight fair and it doesn’t care who it hurts.
But things change.
Things get better.
As a preschool teacher I have daily moments of silly laughter at the things the kids say. I am so lucky to have that.
Last week a child came and asked me for a smoke. I was surprised until I worked out she meant smock. She was asking for an art smock.
After talking about tadpoles turning into frogs and caterpillars turning into butterflies a child asked me if I was going to turn into a dog.
I took my glasses off for a moment and one girl yelled out “it’s still you”.
These little people make me laugh with their easy going attitudes and their ability to make friends based on a mutual favourite colour.
So yes, things change. I used to like chocolate and reality tv and now I don’t.
You might change too from time to time.
Change can be as good as a holiday or it can be a blooming nuisance.
So please try to find time for a laugh or a moment of respite from the bad changes.
Or if you must… eat a box of Roses chocolates while watching reality tv if that helps.