Yesterday as I was buying a coffee scroll at the bakery an elderly gentleman walked past with a huge bunch of flowers.
The ladies called out “Are they for us” in the way that bakery ladies do.
He replied that it was his wife’s birthday.
The ladies in the bakery then told me that his wife has been in a nursing home for 2 years and he visits her every morning and every night.
Am I doing it wrong?
How can you love that big?
How do you live your whole life for another person?
My husband and I will be married 10 years next year.
And I love him. But he’s not my whole world and I don’t define myself foremost as a wife.
Maybe it’s because we’re busy and tired from raising young boys.
Maybe it’s because he travels so much for work.
Maybe it’s a generation thing.
20 years after my Gran died my Grandpa was still putting fresh flowers from the garden next to photos of her on the kitchen table.
He nursed her through a range of illnesses until she just wanted to come home and die peacefully.
He saw her and loved her at her most vulnerable and stayed devoted to her for decades after she’d passed away.
She suffered from severe post natal depression nearly 60 years ago when it wasn’t accepted and recognised as the debilitating condition that we now know it is.
He loved her forever.
From what I remember she was completely lovable with a cackle that you just had to join in with.
*So now we get to that part when I ask questions out loud.*
Does love grow naturally or do you have to work at it?
Does it get easier or harder with time?
Is there a secret to it or is just luck?
Is it give and take? And what if it’s not equal?
*I’m pretty sure that there is no magic formula but that big love is magical for all those it touches. xx*