Family hellidays…

Hello from the air!

I’m on a plane. Off to the beautiful Sunshine Coast region of Australia.

Full of sunshine, beaches and in-laws.

Well 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

I’m traveling with my husband and 2 boys which means that my husband half filled a suitcase with his clothes and then sat on the couch while I packed the rest.

What an honour to be trusted with packing for the children. (Yes you may have detected some possible sarcasm there.)

Here’s a fun fact for all the seven year olds out there:
If you go lick the reception desk at the doctors on a Monday you’ll be back at the doctors and on antibiotics by Thursday.

*Just because a bench is at your face level doesn’t mean you need to suck on it.

I’m a little bit tired and grumpy at the moment (after a couple of sleepless nights with the bench licker) and I can’t be bothered saying what I want so instead I will quietly fester over everyone else’s inability to read my mind.

P.S If you could read my mind it would say please leave me alone for a while without judging me. Give me some space to just be.

Anyway back to staying with the in-laws.

It’s been a while since they raised their 2 sons. I’m not sure that they’re ready for all the dirt, noise and snot that is about to descend on them.

They visited us 12 months ago. They stayed in a hotel and came to visit.

Approximately 10 minutes into the visit my 7 year old punched his 9 year old brother in the guts. He responded by kicking his brother in mouth dislodging his already very wobbly two front teeth with a large quantity of blood as well.

Then my husband screamed at them both and approximately 25 minutes into their visit my father in law said he felt tired and they decided to go back to the hotel.

So why would I not be looking forward to this relaxing family holiday?

I will be having a quiet walk along the beach at sometime though and I might even get up early on Saturday and take a nice photo of the sunrise.

We are not alike but we are family so I will fake smile until I can make my excuses and go to bed.

The good news is that I’m having some minor surgery next week and I get a quiet night in hospital on my own to look forward to.



Short Mach to go…

This morning I stubbed my toe while carrying my coffee.

It spilt everywhere including on a tv remote control which later was pronounced dead.

As I saw the coffee flying in slow motion I became even more convinced that my first shot of coffee for the day should be injected intravenously before I get up.

Possibly into my eyeballs just to be safe. (Having said that I’m not sure it is safe to inject things into your eyeballs.)

My room now smells like the undrunk coffee that only an hour ago was dripping down the wall. It’s taunting me.

This is me on my holidays.

My holidays that don’t actually have an end date because I have no job to return to.

There will many more coffees consumed. There will be reading and napping and possibly even showering if required.

This is the life.

Hope yours is good too.


This is not a travel blog…

I am on holidays with my family.

We traveled for over a day only to discover that the kids are just as annoying on the opposite side of the world.

And so is my husband.

I could write a travel blog of my holiday or I could write a list of the petty arguments that people have when they’re tired, out of their comfort zone, cold and under caffeinated.

Some highlights from today included a discussion as to whether or not the children should be eating food while using public restrooms.

I thought not.

Or should the wheels of the car be on the yellow line like every other car in the street.

I thought yes.

Now clearly I’m using examples where I am right as opposed to the examples my husband might imagine/make up/lie about where I was wrong.

But it’s beautiful here.

I am using words like “drongo” and phrases such as “right o mate” in an attempt to seem more glamorous and mysterious.

It’s not working.

But we are having fun.

Tomorrow is another day to explore and a renewed chance for my family to annoy me.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I’m on holidays!!!


Come fly with me…

G’day from however many thousand feet up my plane is flying right now.

I’ve been watching the sunset with bright orange, yellow, pink and blue hues for the past hour now so I must be heading west.

I have a friend that I sometimes message when the sky is nice. There would be no hurry tonight. This sky is staying for a while longer.

The clouds below me look like shaving foam or something that you could touch and leave a mark on you.

I touch a cloud once as I was about to jump out of a plane that didn’t have a door. That was kinda cool. But the clouds are just like thick fog. Nothing you can keep.

I’m flying business class and there’s a spare seat next to me so basically this is about as good as it gets.

After 30 minutes I worked out the headphone system with the iPad.

I drank a sparkly drink before take off that may not have been as innocent as I first thought.

I’m rugged up with the blanket they provide and it’s so damn soft and I’m so relaxed and not feeling guilty at all about being away from my family again…much!

My mum will pick me up from the airport because she lives in the West now. She’s going to take me back to her new husbands house where I will blame the time delay (only 2 hours) and go to bed.

It won’t be the same mother/daughter time that I’m used to with her but life changes and she’s happy and I’m strong enough to go with the flow.

I’m also going to catch up with my beautiful friend from Mothers Group that I haven’t seen for over a year or more. Can’t wait to hear her lilting accent and spend time with her beautiful soul.

I am on a holiday.

Hope you have a good weekend too. xx

P.S Due to aviation rules and regulations this post was not actually posted in mid air but on the tarmac with my seat belt tightly fastened.



Slice of heaven…

After my last post I checked my stats and realised that I had some views from New Zealand.

Which I thought was kind of cool until I realised that the views were me. Because I’m in New Zealand.

Apparently if you want your blog to get more views overseas you can just go overseas and check your blog yourself.

I like New Zealand. We’ve been here for 5 nights.

We’ve had pancakes at the same cafe for 4 days in a row because we like to pretend to be regulars and the pancakes were really good.

After approximately 3 minutes of arriving somewhere I assimilate completely taking on the accent and sounding like a tourist with a speech problem.

I bought some seriously expensive shoes that have become part of the family.

I took the kids to visit my mums oldest friend who drove us around Wellington on a crazy adventure.

I have eaten the most amazing burger and chilli chips.

I drank some amazing chocolate milk that is so delicious that when they first started selling it shops were paying security guards to sit in the dairy section to stop people stealing it.

I bought 3 tea towels for $25 because if you can’t afford the new kitchen you want then it’s better than nothing.

I rode the cable car up the mountain and a trolley bus back to Cuba St.

I shared a bed with my 7 year old until he fell asleep because it’s a fact that my two boys will not fall asleep while sharing a bed.

I read the front page of the paper on Wednesday where the lead story was that a flight had forgotten to unload the passengers baggage and they had to wait a whole day before getting it back.

I’ve just eaten my body weight in salted caramel profiteroles at the airport lounge so it must be time to spend my few remaining Kiwi dollars on some duty free.

Holidays are good.

Adventures are fun.

But my own bed is calling me. x

Highway number one…

We are back from our week away.

The drive wasn’t so bad. Apart from the part when I was in a bad mood for most of it and my bum went numb while I was driving.

My mind may have wondered over the 11 hour journey as to how many other people were nagging their partners in their cars.

Driving too fast, driving too slow, over taking too late, ducking back in front of the car you’ve overtaken too soon and the P platers that are only allowed to do 90.

There was also the moment when my husband told me to turn right out of the service station and I assumed that he meant left but he did actually mean right so I performed a slightly erratic U turn to prove a point.

Not sure what the point was. But I proved it.

I saw big windmills, beautiful countryside and native road kill.

I listened to a classic countdown that included Elton John and The Bangles.

I freaked out slightly because the mini chocolate Christmas puddings were melting so I quickly ate them.

I only needed to go to the toilet twice and was unsympathetic to the needs of others.

When we got home I slept for 14 hours.

I’m not sure that I travel well with others.

Tomorrow has been declared a family pajama day.

There will be no travel.

There will probably still be some nagging though.

Free holiday? Hmmm, let me think about it.

So I heard about a competition to win a Queensland holiday. Sounds good in theory right but the whole idea left me with some serious questions.

Now lets just say for arguments sake that I had entered (I didn’t) and won (well you’ve got to be in it to win it) a Queensland holiday my first decision would be easy I know that I would want to spend more than 24 hours away from my 2 gorgeous children for the first time in 4 years… but here is my issue, would I have to take my husband?

See we don’t travel well together. We are not compatible on holidays. We fight or should I say I fight. I get bored and pick fights. He walks too fast, he walks too slow, he acts like a tourist or he doesn’t ask for directions enough. And I know it’s not his fault because I have had other bad holiday experiences with other people… don’t ask, it was awful!

Me? I’d like a week on my own to relax and unwind. Read my book on the beach, do every activity listed at the resort or just wander around trying out every cafe in the area. Whatever I wanted, when I wanted!

I want to want to travel with my husband and share new experiences and see new things and explore beaches, markets and the Great Barrier Reef but I really just don’t want to.

Hang on a minute… snorkelling on the Great Barrier Reef may be the perfect answer to my dilemma. Spending time together without having to talk and as long as he doesn’t scare off the fish or take unflattering photos of me in my spotted one piece swimsuit we should be fine! Well a girl can dream can’t she?